Rajnikant V/S ACP Pradyuman :D

Very Funny- Banta in the UK - Underground Railway.

Banta came from Amritsar to the UK for the first time and had
boarded a train from Paddington to go to Cardiff, to visit his sister and her family.

In the train, sitting across from him, this rather stoic and proper looking Englishman in a pin-striped suit was engrossed in reading the morning Newspaper.

As the train rolled on, Banta was soon bored. Wanting to strike
up a conversation he leaned over and asked the Englishman, 'Excuse me Sir, what is your name?'

Not very happy at this development, the Englishman nevertheless
obliged and said, 'John Smith. And what is your name Sir?'
 
Banta replied, ' Banta Singh '
 
-->  

And where are you from Mr. Smith?

'From Lancashire, and you Mr. Singh?'

Making every effort to keep up with Mr. Smith, Banta replied,' From Amritshire! '

This confused the hell out of Mr. Smith.

He knew of Bedfordshire, Berkshire, Lincolnshire , Worcestershire. ...but Amritshire?? ?

Eyebrows raised, he asked Banta, 'And on what Longitude and
Latitude would Amritshire be, Sir?'

Now it was Banta's turn to look all confused. 

But not willing to show his ignorance, and not knowing the meaning of these words, he replied in his new found accent ' Sir, you see, in Amritshire we only have BHENKITUDE and MAAKITUDE . XD :P

Joke of the day : Young Man Meets Old Man!

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared. Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Old Man ROCXX, Boy.... (you complete it!)

Jokez of the dayz ;)

JOKE 1

One morning at a doctor's office a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.
The doctor examines him and asks him -"OK, what happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club, right? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew
someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing
himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back."

-->

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and a huge fridge comes from nowhere to fall on me!! "

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do.. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge and some one threw it from the 3rd floor"......

-->

JOKE 2
WIFE- My husband seems to be under a lot of mental stress.

DOCTOR- Yes, I have spoken to him and I exactly know the issue now.

Here, these are some Pills.

WIFE- When should I feed these to him?

DOCTOR- These are Sleeping pills and these are for you.

(Hindi)Joke samja to like karo...warna share karo, thaaki koi tumhe samjade! :D

Jokes of the day! :DD

JOKE 1

Boy: My GF is pregnant bt I used protection.

Doctor: 1 kahani suno...

1 shikari 1 din Gun ki jagah umbrella le gaya, achanak lion samne aaya to usne umbrella ka handle khicha aur Fire kiya.

Lion wahi mar gaya ( Hindi ).

Boy: Impossible.!!!!! Kisi aur ne goli mari hogi.

Doctor: Exactly.... ;)

Check these links out too- -->

JOKE 2
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this 

guy would just stand around on the job.

The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing 

here?"

"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.

Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"

The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 

and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."

The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone 

want to tell me what just happened here?"

From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."

Girl Boy Joke of the day!

Girl demanded an Ice Cream..

Guy purchased it..

Girl: Thank u!

Guy: bas thank u?

Girl: u want kiss na?

Guy: Arree romance ki bhuki aurat, Aadhi ice cream de!!!:D

Santa Joke Time!

Funny Animals of the day.

Animal Planet : Presented by uselesscrap.

This is tooo much!!

 

Ha ha ha!!: Sab ki bajegi!

Phaseboook!

Computer Related Jokes

Nigerians are Second only to Indians as far as Jugaad is concerned :P :)

Help! : I have 5 Kids!

Lasith Malinga Logistics Inc.

Lasith Malinga the Fast-Bowler from Sri Lanka, after earning big bucks in IPL(India Premiere Leauge), has set up a new business venture.

Known as ' Lasith Malinga Logistics Inc. ', notably is a very successful venture.

Below we find the ' Doosra Delivery ' which is a blisteringly quick Material/Goods delivery service provided by the firm.

They utilize a Super-Sonic three wheeled Jet Engine propelled Vehicle(as represented in the Image below) which helps them provide this service.

The company claims that you would be ' Bowled over '  by its services, esp. the  ' Doosra Delivery '.

Usless JOkes

1. Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?
...
Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5...

Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs ?"